<h2><br /></h2><div> </div><div id="media" style="margin: 0px 0px 6px; padding: 0px; font-family: \’Helvetica Neue\’, Helvetica, \’Hiragino Sans GB\’, \’Microsoft YaHei\’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.6px;"><img id="js_cover" data-backsrc="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/gJSub4tnZ6GEudMRPYS8QtV5CyoG1KkVWaVLRoEMkN9untiaTiaIicIHgffvIz5OqrS6iaL9ete4tYGlC5siaktjzcA/0?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-s="300,640" src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/gJSub4tnZ6GEudMRPYS8QtV5CyoG1KkVWaVLRoEMkN9untiaTiaIicIHgffvIz5OqrS6iaL9ete4tYGlC5siaktjzcA/640?wx_fmt=jpeg&tp=webp&wxfrom=5" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; height: auto !important; display: block; width: 670px;" alt="" /></div><div id="js_content" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; overflow: hidden; color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 18px; position: relative; min-height: 350px; font-family: \’Helvetica Neue\’, Helvetica, \’Hiragino Sans GB\’, \’Microsoft YaHei\’, Arial, sans-serif;"><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">“国籍”对我来说是个不太好谈的话题。我从来没有隐瞒过我拿的是美国护照，但是我也从来不主动表白我是美国人。上周，半夜三更，在我转发了一些呼吁深化改革的微博之后，收到一份非常文明、理智的私信，大概意思是说：你不是美国人吗？干吗不去关注你们自己的大选，非关心我们的政治？我回答说，我对中国政治更有意思。</p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">他问我是不是带着那种“看笑话”的心情在看中国政治。我告诉他不是，我真心地关注我出生地的政治改革和发展，因为我是华侨。之后他很严肃地引用了一段中国法律对“华侨”的定义——是居住在中国之外的华裔，而不是居住在中国国土上的华裔。我没有去查这条法规，但是感觉他是对的。这让我一时无话应对。</p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">我知道很多人都认为像我这样拿了外国护照在中国居住、又天天说三道四的人应该滚蛋，既然这么不喜欢中国，还赖在这里干什么？这种质问让我难受，但是我必须说不是完全没有道理。我也这么问过陈丹青，在我们有选择的情况下，为什么选择留在中国？为什么还要抱怨？他没有给我一个非常好的答案，我也没有追问。但是我一直在追问我自己。</p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">首先，我对我的家人的感情是不可质疑的，我爱他们，我离不开他们，他们住在这里，我就需要在这里，因为我需要他们。连我的家人都提醒我该闭嘴了，干吗总是要表态，说那么多大实话，好像就我有正义感似的。我自己也经常有害怕的时候，万一我的签证被吊销了，我就要和我家人分开了，这个是我的软肋，这样的话我会疯掉的。所以，我就更不愿意说国籍的事情。如果我是理智的，知好歹的，我真的应该闭嘴。</p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">所以我在反思我为什么不能闭嘴。如果我说我有正义感，连我自己都觉得很装；如果我说我爱国（中国），我似乎应该问一下我自己：我能用美国方式去爱中国吗？中国需要这种爱法吗？我和他们有仇恨吗？也没有，就像网上骂我的人所说，我从出生开始就是这个制度的既得利益者，所以我没有任何仇恨。只能说，我只是非常看不惯一些中国社会现实，我觉得老百姓很遭罪，我想发言。</p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">但我发言能改变什么呢？可能什么都改变不了，这是一个改变只能从上至下的社会，我说什么有屁用？上面一句话，可以乾坤颠倒。那么我想借改革话语上位？我今年五十多岁了，在一个男权社会里，一个肥婆除了演喜剧，大概干任何别的都不太有戏。我有经济目的吗？似乎不闭嘴是不可能赚大钱的，因为这里的一切似乎都是和权力挂钩的。想发财，还得靠政府。我真的没有理由不闭嘴了。</p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">我真的没有理由再这么无效地大嘴下去，也找不出最好的理由去讲清楚我为什么不能收摊，只有一首Leonard cohen的歌词，似乎说出了我这么老、这么丑、这么非要表达的原因，歌词如下：</p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;">没有勇气去站对的立场</p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">没有情操去帮人一把</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">却不知道什么驱使我高声说</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">让富饶土地的光芒照在真理上</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">我为何在此地</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">既是我知道</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">你怎么想我</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">我怎么想你</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">为了那些还在枷锁中的人</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">为了被财富抛弃的人</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">为了心灵中仍未升起的救世主</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">为了不可违背的良心</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">为了我们残存的信仰</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">我要高声祈祷</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; line-height: 1.6;">让富饶土地的光芒照在真理上</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;" /></p><p style="padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><br /></p></div>