蒋碧微自述：却道海棠依旧 – 纵览中国-China In Perspective

<h2>  </h2><div id="js_content" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; overflow: hidden; color: #333333; font-size: 18px; overflow-wrap: break-word; position: relative; z-index: 0; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; background-color: #ffffff;"> <p style="margin-right: 16px; margin-left: 16px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">昨夜雨疏风骤，浓睡不消残酒。试问卷帘人，却道海棠依旧。知否，知否？应是绿肥红瘦。<p style="margin-right: 16px; margin-left: 16px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">–李清照<hr style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; border-style: solid; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.098); transform-origin: 0px 0px 0px; transform: scale(1, 0.5); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;" /><p style="margin-right: 48px; margin-left: 48px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 16px; margin-left: 16px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img src="/EditBackyard/EditorData/Photo/2019/Apr/482019JIANG1.png" width="600" height="583" alt="" /> <p style="margin-right: 48px; margin-left: 48px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">蒋碧微：却道海棠依旧<img data-copyright="0" data-ratio="0.45454545454545453" data-src="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/eibjlyAmwmMYr2HdQw2zrAdPNl2ch9GpWk0etuesUic7zicj2Qz329SYS7VfuwG753gicTkfP4icWAgiaXHugAABq5qw/640?wx_fmt=gif" data-type="gif" data-w="22" _width="22px" src="data:image/gif;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAEAAAABCAYAAAAfFcSJAAAADUlEQVQImWNgYGBgAAAABQABh6FO1AAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==" data-order="0" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; height: 10px !important; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; width: 22px !important;" alt="" /><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-size: 14px;"><section style="margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; background-image: url("https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/v4vz52CcB13rU0YvmrX8jtsxnyWrTCl1xZIToh5RpfpFHtia62dvkAmmsgrUYm35ibXrJ7NBxV3N7oeN69onV5Gw/640?wwpng"); background-size: 100%; width: 79px; height: 40px;"><section style="margin: 14px 0px 0px 29px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; display: inline-block; line-height: 20px; height: 20px; color: #9a4f95; font-weight: 600; vertical-align: top; width: 20px !important;">01</section></section></article></section><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我是宜兴人，出身书香门第，豆蔻之年与名门望族查家定亲。做少奶奶，开枝散叶，儿孙绕膝，此生一眼望穿，古井无澜。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">可是，命运在我十八岁那年骤然顿笔，突兀得措手不及。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">父亲时任复旦大学国文教师，举家迁沪。在上海，前来拜谒的学生络绎不绝，深得父亲赏识的，是徐悲鸿。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">徐悲鸿俊朗清瘦，举手投足尽是书卷气，望向我的时候，眼眸里满是酽酽的温柔。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他大约是喜欢我的。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">徐悲鸿习画，赠我一幅海棠。“我喜欢海棠般的女子，出尘绝艳，飒爽高贵。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我抬眼望他，只想到玉树临风。经年习画的飘逸气质，才情与柔情兼备，不经意地暖了近旁的人，蓦地生出想要依靠的错觉。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他走后，我细细摩挲那幅海棠，心下黯然。来年，我将嫁作他人妇，这段少女心事也便如烟了吧。查家少爷纨绔天性，曾向家父讨要考卷答案，品行未见端正。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">婚约一纸，缚住我对婚姻全部的想象。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">一阵清风，把画作吹拂在地。我赶忙拾起，恰好看到背面小字：卿若海棠。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">心像涨了潮，冉冉蔓延到眼眶，潸然泪婆娑。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">第一最好不相见，如此便可不相恋。情深缘浅，倾慕不过一场徒劳。恨不相逢未嫁时。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">门突然开了。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">就像黑夜迷路的孩子，蹲在地上抖肩哭泣，一抬头，却看到了粲然星空。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">徐悲鸿站在门口，目如繁星，对我说：“棠珍，跟我走。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我十八岁，跟一个叫徐悲鸿的男人，逃婚私奔了。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">父亲面上无光，令蒋家上下演了场“假出殡”，灵堂遗像煞有介事。人们说活人办葬礼，兆头不好，是大忌，我却无所谓。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">悲鸿和我，是生生世世一双人，黄泉路上都要执子之手，何畏人言迷信。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">然而，当我八十高龄，独卧病榻时，方知是我一厢情愿。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“棠珍，从今日起，我为你更名蒋碧微，放下前尘，从头来过。好吗？” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“好。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">为你，情愿撕毁豪门婚誓，割舍父母亲友，更不必说改一个名字。我的爱情像飞蛾扑火，决绝得不留退路。 <p style="margin-right: 16px; margin-left: 16px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img src="/EditBackyard/EditorData/Photo/2019/Apr/482019JIANG2.png" width="551" height="658" alt="" style="letter-spacing: 0.544px;" /> <section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-size: 14px;"><section style="margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; background-image: url("https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/v4vz52CcB13rU0YvmrX8jtsxnyWrTCl1xZIToh5RpfpFHtia62dvkAmmsgrUYm35ibXrJ7NBxV3N7oeN69onV5Gw/640?wwpng"); background-size: 100%; width: 79px; height: 40px;"><section style="margin: 14px 0px 0px 29px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; display: inline-block; line-height: 20px; height: 20px; color: #9a4f95; font-weight: 600; vertical-align: top; width: 20px !important;">02</section></section></article></section><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在康有为的帮助下，我们私奔到日本。悲鸿痴迷日本仿制原画，遇见心仪的，毫不犹豫买下来，积蓄很快用罄。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他四处帮人作画，我做女工，薄薪勉强度日。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">十指不沾阳春水，今来为君做羹汤。时光清苦，我却总相信，有朝一日他能出人头地。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">彼时流行怀表，我大半个月没吃晚饭，攒钱给悲鸿买了一块。他很感动，做了两枚戒指，分别刻着我们的名字。他常年戴着刻有“碧微”的那枚，逢人便讲，这是我太太的名字。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">后来，我们辗转去了巴黎，他进法国最高国立艺术学校官费留学，我进校学法语。我不是旧式女子，懂得顺应时代潮流，免遭淘汰。悲鸿声名鹊起，我作为徐悲鸿夫人，社交礼仪恰到好处，人们都说是一对璧人。<p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img data-copyright="0" data-ratio="0.798" data-s="300,640" data-src="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/eibjlyAmwmMZf4FWUwhbibKAoyt8x3ibz8DKflp3pE3Y2Gx25iby6HlW2rkmVYibIujB7rMKYOfJ1x8kEjkSoDQWrJw/640?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="500" _width="500px" src="data:image/gif;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAEAAAABCAYAAAAfFcSJAAAADUlEQVQImWNgYGBgAAAABQABh6FO1AAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==" crossorigin="anonymous" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; 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height: 399px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; width: 500px !important;" alt="" /><img src="/EditBackyard/EditorData/Photo/2019/Apr/482019JIANG3.png" width="651" height="778" alt="" /> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">一日，家中来了位浓眉大眼的年轻人。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“鄙人张道藩，留学法国习画，仰慕徐先生，前来拜访。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“您先请进，悲鸿马上回来。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他与我攀谈，儒雅而热情。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“您这身洋装很美，上衣是大红底，明黄花，长裙是明黄底，大红花，像一株海棠，雍容华贵。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“张先生过誉，不过是柴米油盐的主妇罢了。”结婚十年，习惯了作灶下婢，“卿若海棠”的比喻尘封太久，几近遗忘。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“您虽不施粉黛，却难掩高贵气度，真可谓淡极始知花更艳。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">悲鸿回来了，我匆匆离开客厅。我怕被张先生眼眸里的火焰灼伤。落花有情，流水无意，此生嫁给悲鸿，旁的人都成了过客，虽则如云，匪我思存。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">尔后，张先生寄来一封长信，情意脉脉，表明心迹。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我只复他一行字：先生一何愚，罗敷自有夫。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">不久，我们回南京去了。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">载誉归来的悲鸿如日中天，任南京中央大学美术系主任，日子似是苦尽甘来。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">满街银杏的时候，姑母病故，我回宜兴省亲奔丧。因着悲鸿盛名，衣锦还乡，当年那出“假丧”也淡成茶余饭后的笑谈。市井之人眼薄，记性也不大好。小城姑娘问我东京和巴黎的模样，我竟记不真切。东京只有家徒四壁，巴黎只有半纸情信，其余，都是悲鸿。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">正说着，便来了信：快回南京吧。你再不来，我要爱上别人了。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-size: 14px;"><section style="margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; background-image: url("https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/v4vz52CcB13rU0YvmrX8jtsxnyWrTCl1xZIToh5RpfpFHtia62dvkAmmsgrUYm35ibXrJ7NBxV3N7oeN69onV5Gw/640?wwpng"); background-size: 100%; width: 79px; height: 40px;"><section style="margin: 14px 0px 0px 29px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; display: inline-block; line-height: 20px; height: 20px; color: #9a4f95; font-weight: 600; vertical-align: top; width: 20px !important;">03</section></section></article></section><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">南京的冬天凄凄寒寒，不比北方摧枯拉朽，只是清冷，冷得黯然惆怅。徐公馆依然，银杏落尽，乌鸦泣枝丫。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我见到“慈悲之恋”的女主角，孙多慈。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">悲鸿的画库，满屋满室都是她。柳叶眉，瓜子脸，弱不禁风的寡欢。我只觉天旋地转，绮丽的颜料如刀似剑，手刃我的心。<p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 32px; margin-left: 32px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img src="/EditBackyard/EditorData/Photo/2019/Apr/482019JIANG4.png" width="551" height="684" alt="" /> <div>                                                       孙多慈</div><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我晕倒在自家画室。<p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">醒来，悲鸿坐在床前，小心翼翼地讲：“大夫说你患了猩红热，需要静养。我请假陪你。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我漠然地看着他：“我要吃冰糕。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“好，我去买。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他一走，我就泪如雨下。腊月的南京天寒地冻，哪有冰糕卖，何况我在病中，忌生冷。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他对我已不是爱，是愧。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">初春，孙多慈送来百棵枫苗，名曰点缀庭院。我知其用心，便令佣人折苗为薪。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">悲鸿得知，默不作声。到底是心怀鬼胎，处处赔着小心。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">绝望日渐蚕食我的爱意。我向来聪慧，却不知自己何罪之有。抛弃锦衣玉食，陪他颠沛流离共患难，略无半点大小姐脾性。我不是抱残守旧的封建女人，逃婚，留洋，学外语，打扮入时，社交得体，燃尽生命去爱他，到头来，仍逃不过糟糠之妻的弃妇之命。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我败给了谁？ <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">踏入孙多慈宿舍之前，我料想她是惊艳的。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">可是，当我面向她，心里却是更深的凉意。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“孙小姐，我是徐先生的爱人。我来，只有一句话：请你自重。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">她眼里怯意浓重，怎会如我当年赴汤蹈火。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">多年后，她依从父命，嫁与他人，倒也应了我的猜想。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">论及容貌、家世、胆略，孙多慈无不在我之下，更比不起我与悲鸿十余载相濡以沫。可偏偏是她，毁了我的婚姻。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我败给了人性。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">但见新人笑，哪闻旧人哭。我的丈夫又开始了热恋。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他摘下刻有“碧微”的戒指，换上镶红豆的黄金戒指，题着“大慈”。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我问他：“你每爱上一个姑娘，就会换一枚戒指吗？” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他不言语。不在乎你，连掩饰都懒得做。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">恩情似流沙，一点一滴流逝。我想挽回，却只能坐以待毙，无力回天。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在生命无边的僵局里，进退两难。<p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 32px; margin-left: 32px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <div><img src="/EditBackyard/EditorData/Photo/2019/Apr/482019JIANG5.png" width="551" height="658" alt="" /> </div><div>孙多慈</div><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-size: 14px;"><section style="margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; background-image: url("https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/v4vz52CcB13rU0YvmrX8jtsxnyWrTCl1xZIToh5RpfpFHtia62dvkAmmsgrUYm35ibXrJ7NBxV3N7oeN69onV5Gw/640?wwpng"); background-size: 100%; width: 79px; height: 40px;"><section style="margin: 14px 0px 0px 29px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; display: inline-block; line-height: 20px; height: 20px; color: #9a4f95; font-weight: 600; vertical-align: top; width: 20px !important;">04</section></section></article></section><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">分居后，他带孙多慈去了桂林。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">为讨好孙父，徐悲鸿登报声明：兹证明徐悲鸿先生与蒋碧微女士脱离同居关系。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">弃之如敝屣。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">回想自己十八岁，义无反顾地私奔，于彼落魄时不离不弃，终了只落得“同居”之名。连被抛弃都要妇孺皆知，满城风雨。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我的高贵揉碎在市井人的舌尖，低微如尘，狼狈不堪。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">张道藩再次登门。一别数年，他身居高位，已无少时莽撞。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“张先生还画画吗？” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“俗务缠身，鲜有闲情逸致。上次你我欧洲见面，我曾画一幅海棠，现终得机会送与你。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“张先生有心。彼时气盛，负了张先生一片心意。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“我只想今后在旁照顾你，莫让风雨残了一株海棠。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">千疮百孔之际，蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊处。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我把道藩所赠海棠挂在客厅，旁边是徐悲鸿与我脱离关系的声明。女人易为情痴，须时刻警醒，年华易逝，疮痍永在。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我绝不回头。 <p style="margin-right: 32px; margin-left: 32px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img src="/EditBackyard/EditorData/Photo/2019/Apr/482019JIANG6.png" width="551" height="846" alt="" /> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">果不其然，几年后，徐悲鸿叩响我的门。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">深情款款，自说自话。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“我那时年少无知，漠视卿之深情。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“如今已和孙小姐断绝来往，再无羁绊。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“人们说命中注定，我不信。这些年周游列国，方知我心下最惦念的，不过你一人而已。始信命中注定之辞。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“既非圣贤，孰能无过。十多年相守，你竟无一丝眷恋？” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“我潜心悔过，想与你重修旧好。碧微，平生无所系，唯独爱海棠。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“……” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">句句直抵我心。多年夫妻，他太了解我的软肋。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">可是心冻三尺，非一日之寒。冰释不易。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我指着墙上那纸声明，冷若冰霜：“破镜难圆。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">徐悲鸿离去。悲伤排山倒海地吞噬我，我终于病倒了。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">病床上的一个月，我常自问，倘若给彼此一个机会，会否有不同结局？我的满腔勇气，当真被岁月耗尽了吗？他真心悔改，我初心未变，不如重归于好。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">没等我病好，徐悲鸿的启事又见了报：兹证明徐悲鸿先生与蒋碧微女士脱离同居关系。 <section data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><article data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-size: 14px;"><section style="margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; background-image: url("https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/v4vz52CcB13rU0YvmrX8jtsxnyWrTCl1xZIToh5RpfpFHtia62dvkAmmsgrUYm35ibXrJ7NBxV3N7oeN69onV5Gw/640?wwpng"); background-size: 100%; width: 79px; height: 40px;"><section style="margin: 14px 0px 0px 29px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; display: inline-block; line-height: 20px; height: 20px; color: #9a4f95; font-weight: 600; vertical-align: top; width: 20px !important;">05</section></section></article></section><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">同款启事再度登报，我心里没有震惊，只有可笑。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我该是欠了你几世情债，值得你三番五次中伤。你娶新妻，与我何干，何必示威般昭告天下？声明早年已发，如今又费口舌，何必！ <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">你负我，我沉默，护你声誉，只换来你一再欺辱。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我忍无可忍，一纸诉状，对簿公堂。向徐悲鸿索赔，一百幅画，四十幅古画，一百万元。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他自是输了官司，只得赔付。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">你不念旧情，我蒋碧微绝不会屡屡忍辱苟且。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">至此，我与徐悲鸿算是彻底恩断义绝。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">八年后，他逝世，听说还揣着我当年节衣缩食给他买的怀表。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">或许只是某种凭吊和怀缅，不是爱。但我却还是垂了泪。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">道藩见我落泪，问我是否还对徐悲鸿念念不忘。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“这些年我们朝夕相处，算什么呢？”他声音里有凄凉的意味。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“道藩，等我六十岁，我就嫁给你。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">天不遂人愿。我五十九岁时，我们分开了。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">道藩写回忆录，没有一字关于我。我不怨他。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他伴在我万念俱灰的时辰，借着他的半星温暖，我才涉过命运的深寒。对他，我只有感念。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">分手十年，他病危，我去医院探望。他意识已模糊，只说：“海棠，海棠。” <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">昨夜雨疏风骤，浓睡不消残酒。试问卷帘人，却道海棠依旧。知否，知否，应是绿肥红瘦。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img src="/EditBackyard/EditorData/Photo/2019/Apr/482019JIANG7.png" width="551" height="658" alt="" /> <div>蒋碧薇与张道藩</div> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">- 尾声 - <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">道藩离世后十年，我寡居台北，读书，写作。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">台北温暖，有人情味。我凉薄一世，太贪恋微茫的确幸。剥落过往浮华的锈迹，结束一场无因无果的梦。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">《圣经》上讲，上帝即是爱，宽恕不可宽恕之人，并且爱他。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">可我做不到。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">于我而言，悲鸿的伤害不可宽恕，我等凡人，可以忘却，无法原谅。所作《我与悲鸿》，被指字里行间戾气太重，终是断不了嗔痴苦毒。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">对于世事，我亦困惑。朱安三从四德，克己复礼，人道封建礼教毒害过甚。我等新女性私奔寻爱，留洋学习与时俱进，仍被视同草芥，成下堂妻。张幼仪包办婚姻不幸，孟小冬自由恋爱亦苦。阮玲玉出身贫贱遭嫌，于凤至大家闺秀亦未守得云开见月明。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这是女人之过吗？ <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">说到底，世界是男人的，秩序皆由他们定罢。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我太老了，老到想不通透这些问题。我大约会背负这一生的迷惘，离开人世。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">临终前最后一瞥，我看到了床头那张画。道藩的《海棠》挂于客厅，床头的这幅，是我十八岁那年，悲鸿送我的《海棠》。正如我这辈子，道藩只是过客，悲鸿才是归人。 <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">知否，知否，应是绿肥红瘦。</div>